On your marks, get set…go?

NB: Before we start, you should know that I hate running. It’s in my top three list of things that I hate, closely followed by hanging the washing out and only just behind drivers that don’t say thank you when you stop to let them past. I try to avoid running at all costs and if I do run, I normally need to follow it up with a Twix and half a tank of oxygen.

Ok so, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt about renovating a house it’s that there are lots of emergencies. Emergency leaks, emergency cuts and bumps and more often than not, emergency trips to the local DIY store. The level of emergency can be decided using this simple chart.

Screen Shot 2017-10-03 at 15.51.30

So, on Sunday, we were installing a new bedroom wall having knocked down the old one to make the bedroom just a little bit bigger. I’d say it has added about half a metre to the width of the room which has actually made quite a lot of difference. At this point the existing wall was down, we’d taken all the plasterboard to the tip already and it was time to rebuild. We measured up, we looked at our supplies. There was not enough wood and we really needed some new plasterboard too. Ok, so it was another trip out but we haven’t got long before we have the other half’s parentals coming and we’d like them to have somewhere to stay that isn’t

A) a building site

 B) quite draughty, what with the missing wall and all.

The sooner this wall goes up the sooner we could start plastering, and with our time constraints on this room, it became a desperate case.

We looked at the time – 15:40. The shops shut at 4.00 on a Sunday. I referred back to my handy chart. Oh my god.

It was now officially an emergency.  .

15.40: We raced downstairs, threw some shoes on – no it doesn’t matter what your wearing, I realised, your dad’s suit socks and sliders are a perfectly fashionable and practical combination.

15.42:  We made an executive decision to take a short cut through the back roads. Emergencies are often reliant on the executive decisions you make.

15:43: The back roads were narrow, fortunately we were able to swerve out the way of oncoming vehicles – you don’t need alloys, you need plasterboard.

15.45: We adopted a tense look as we sat on a 30mph road with speed cameras.

15.47: Damn, why is there always traffic lights on red here.

15.48: I could see it!! B&Q was in sight, but wh- what is this?? More traffic? We couldn’t all be having an emergency, where was everyone going?

15.49: Oh, it was just the drive through queue for Macdonalds. On a Sunday? Heathens.

15.50: Oh crap the traffic was not moving, it was time for executive decision number two. I was going to have to run, the other half could park the car but I needed to get into the shop.

15.50 (still) : I got out the car, I pushed my socked feet firmly into my adidas sliders, regretting my fashion choices.

15.51: I started to run, the theme to Chariots of fire starts playing in my head. (I strongly suggest you play it in yours, it really adds to the dramatic effect)

15.52: It actually feels like I’m running in slow motion, the wind through my hair. I briefly think about taking up running.

15.53: I realise that the slow motion thing is just because I’m starting to get a stitch and am actually slowing down. I push through.

15.54: There are people oncoming, I barge past their horrified faces. There is a child in my path. I shove him out the way. (only joking… or am I?).

15.55: I hurdle over the man collecting the trolleys. (Ok, now I’m definitely lying but just go with it.)

15.56: I prise the automatic doors open as I hear the warning bing bongs: “Attention customers, the store will be closing in 5 minutes.”

15.57: I make it to the plasterboard section, out of puff, but victorious. The other half, having parked the car, saunters in to meet me about 5 seconds after me. I was actually a bit annoyed about it. I might as well have walked.

16.00: We’ve done it. we made it just in time, emergency averted.

You’ll be pleased to know the wall was built so we can crack on with the plastering this week, My heart rate eventually slowed down and I’ve located some trainers for emergency running. I will not be taking up running as a sport.

Fingers crossed by next week I’ll have a nice bedroom update for you…

Until then xx


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